The Farmhouse

 

I’m now realizing I haven’t actually posted any photos of the house I live in.  Since most of you are probably sick of the text heavy posts anyways, here are some photos of the farmhouse for your enjoyment.IMG_20160417_092550315I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived to find this greeting me.  It reminds me of Hershel’s farm from the Walking Dead.  If you haven’t seen the Walking Dead, stop reading this drivel and go watch it.  NOW!

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After all, “farmhouse” could have been so much worse.IMG_20160420_172146035The back door, or door you use to enter.  Which is stupid, because I’m pretty sure this house has like 5 entrances.  Notice the different colored brick.  Carl reckons the house is from the late 1800s, but an addition was put on sometime in the last 75 years.  One thing is for sure: it is impossible to see outside after sunset.

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The deck is also new, according to a neighbor.  I have yet to test the balcony.  I’ll let Kyla try first.  Fuck chivalry.  IMG_20160417_141535300

The fire-pit, and location where I first met the owners.  Lovely people.  They told me they visited the top of Foshay Tower when they visited Minneapolis.  I did not know that was a thing.IMG_20160420_172126753

Although meant for children, I know this swing can hold the weight of an adult male.  Don’t ask how I know.IMG_20160420_172259259

A barn I can only assume people were murdered in.IMG_20160420_181014071

The kitchen, which is extremely small for such a large house.  Carl thought the original kitchen was in the basement, and this was added in recently.  I spend a solid hour a day cooking in this bad boy; longer on weekends.  Curry and chili, anyone?IMG_20160420_174734631

The 1st dining room, where I typically eat breakfast and sleepily wonder why I wake up an hour and a half before work starts.IMG_20160420_174651428

The living room, fire place and all.  It has some extremely old maps and photographs.  I guess some people will think that’s cool.IMG_20160420_175106169

I have no clue what this room is for. Are those tables or chairs?  Carl and Kyla use it to store their excess stuff. IMG_20160420_174904177

The 2nd dining room.  Why the hell are there so many chairs?  How many people lived in this house?IMG_20160420_174938340

Just in case sitting in a circle with your fifteen siblings wasn’t enough, you can slowly rock back and forth as you contemplate that existential question: okay, who farted?IMG_20160420_175211971

The staircase leading to the bedrooms.  Don’t use the railing: it’s about as stable as my colon after a week of the “curry and chili” diet.IMG_20160420_175243209The upstairs bathroom.  Note the bathtub where Carl consumes Busch Light.

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The room formerly known as Carl’s room.  The vacuum was used daily to suck up droves of ladybugs.  Seriously, this house contains about 1500 lady bugs at any given time.IMG_20160420_175407464

At last, my humble abode.  I hated the bed my first night, but have grown to accept it.  The divider is meant to give me privacy from the other single bed (see next photo).IMG_20160420_175422677

I pray to God this bed is never rented.  Unless to a beautiful woman who thinks men playing pokemon in their underwear is sexy.  I’ve got that covered.IMG_20160420_175443622

That giant wooden thing taking up 45% of the square footage in this room?  An old-time loom.  What is it doing here?  Holding season one of “Game of Thrones.”  Winter is coming.IMG_20160420_175040939

While an in-house washer and drier make life easier, the tongs used to fish out mice that drown in the water tub make it much, much easier.

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