It Never Snows in North Altoona

I’m not dead yet, although you wouldn’t know that by reading my blog.  For that I apologize.  Hopefully this post will be a step in the right direction.  Considering classes start up again tomorrow, I highly doubt that.  But let’s be optimistic.

You also wouldn’t know by reading my blog that I’ve moved.  Well, I guess technically now you do.  I moved from the farmhouse back in December (so much nostalgia—I still hurl boots at anything that makes the slightest noise in the night.  Poor fridge.).  Where have I moved to you ask?  A very nice apartment in a northeast suburb of Des Moines.  This suburb, Altoona, is the equivalent of Shakopee back in Minnesota.  I live across the street from the race track, down the road from the casino, about a mile from a theme park, and within five minutes of anything you could ever possibly want to buy.

Except brewery supplies.  Gotta hoof it to West Des Moines for those.

Anyways, by all respects my apartment in Altoona should be a blessing compared to Runnells.  I have a no pests, the heat functions, I have a dishwasher, internet, and cable.  And I’m surrounded by people and don’t have to plan my trips to the city.  Great, right?

I was listening to the oldies station the other day when a relatively inconspicuous song caught my attention.  All of a sudden I started adding my own lyrics to it, and guess what?  They were about Altoona.

I’ll let the music speak for my new home.

 

Sung to the tune of “It Never Rains in Southern California,” by Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood

I highly suggest (and encourage) playing a karoke version of this while singing.  You will sing and not just read, right?

 

It Never Snows in North Altoona

Got on board a northbound Chevy ’07

Didn’t think before deciding where to move

Ooh, that talk of furnished efficiencies, friends living above me

Rang true, sure rang true…

 

Seems it never snows in northern Altoona

Seems suburban winters can’t erase my woes

It never snows in north Altoona, but girl, don’t they warn ya?

It blows, man, it blows

 

When off from work, I’m out of my head

Highlight of the day was buying bread

My love prospect’s deader than dead, so this is my home?

It never snows in north Altoona, but girl, don’t they warn ya?

It blows, man, it blows

 

Will you tell the folks back home this place is a hit?

So much to do if you only stay awake

Please don’t tell ’em how you found me

Passed out at the brewery

Gimme a break, give me a break

 

Seems it never snows in northern Altoona

Seems suburban winters can’t erase my woes

It never snows in north Altoona, but girl, don’t they warn ya?

It blows, man, it blows

 

P.S. It snowed today.  Have a good evening!

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